so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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