Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
accomplished twins. life is a go
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's never too late to be topless.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
