i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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