He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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