Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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