Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
