Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
