the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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