My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
