Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
