I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
