Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
