So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
