Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
