I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
