My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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