You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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