guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
