He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
