I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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