Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
