just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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