My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
