Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
