used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
