he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
