My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
porn star boner night. come get it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
