Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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