used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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