I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
