Whod you bang
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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