happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
