is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
