I swear she didn't look like that last week.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
