where am i from again
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
