you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
