She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
