hell yes lets make some ravioli
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
