OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
