i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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