Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
