My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
