A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
