you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
