You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
