so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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