Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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