thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
