Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
