I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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