The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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