honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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