come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
