no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
