it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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